More Fat Please

I've gained almost 5kgs in 2 weeks.

I don't know what to do now. I feel like not eating anything at all. I don't even want to exit the house because I am embarrased about what I look like. Hiding away wont be possible today since I have to go out with my Boyfriend to his friends house in Brisbane and make our way to a concert later tonight. The time to see Deep Purple has arrived and right now I don't even want to go.

The past few days I have started to feel guilty about eating and I remind myself how much food I have consumed everyday. Even though most days I don't eat enough I still feel like it was too much. So far today, it is 11:50am and I have eaten 1 and a half pieces of toast and a cup of tea and I feel like that is way too much food. Right now I don't want to eat anymore for the rest of the day but I'll probably end up eating anyway to make everyone else happy.

This is probably the beginning of an eating disorder right?

Sigh.